ZZZZ…ZZZZ…. (snort)… WHA, HUH???

Posted: July 21, 2008 in Saints

Sean Payton says F you Loomis!! I want my boy back!!! Yes!!!!! this woke me up from my Saints front office hibernation. Apparently Jeremy Shockey is finally going to get the ol’ buzz and his sober days are now over. There are, of course many questions looming over him like… is he going to be, dare I say the H word. Maybe, maybe not. But I will say this, I will give him four Espy’s just if he can make it through one season of drinking his brain out and staying on the field AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!

This is a great trade. One, you can be sure you’re gettin’ a 100% good ol’ American guy, extremely important in the days of the illegal take-over of the country, just look at his arm. That eagle looks like it’s ready to pounce…. all on the bars around Burbon Street. And look at that smile, “Oooohhhhh yeah (deep deep voice), I’m about to have me some fun.”

Quick disclaimer: This has nothing to do with Jeremy Shockey. Jeremy, I have all the respect in the world for you. It is because of situations beyond your control that has landed you this torture.

How about this for consolation:

Contract raise $1M per year if you win 9 games

$5M if you make the playoffs

$25M if you win one game in the playoofs

$50M if you make the Superbowl

and $100M if you win the Superbowl!!!!!!

Yeah, and you still have just as big of a chance of scoring that doe as you do right now in real life.

Jeremy, all the best.

You have started my latest feature the “Saints Russell Athletic All Star Big Name Counter”. (I expect to see money for THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


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